I was reading an article by Carl Hendrick about the “End of Deep Reading,” and I realized that I’ve quietly fallen into the ideology that everything should be easy. Just last month, I was complaining to a friend about how difficult some of our assigned readings were. I said the language, the structure, the density of it all felt almost inaccessible. Like academia sometimes builds a wall around knowledge and calls it rigor. Even after years in school, I still find some articles grueling to get through. And for someone whose first language isn’t English, or who hasn’t had a college education, I can only imagine how much heavier that barrier feels.

I think its interesting because as a UX and product designer, the key principles of designing these efficient, effective, and intuitive products are: how easy is this to use? How intuitive is it to understand?

And I think to some extent, I agree a lot with what Hendrick says about reading. I too mourn the times where I would pick up a book and get lost in the complexity, the prose, the vulnerability of the pages. And now, I reach for the phone -- an unlimited world that chains you into an intuitive experience.

Because yes, phones, social media, and notifications are so based in human behavior. We are drawn to notifications because of we revel in easy information or social connection that comes with those notifications. And it gets to a point where when we're designing for these natural human behaviors, it feels more like an exploitation for the ultimate result of money rather than creating a fulfilling or enlightening experience. Everything becomes faster, more efficient, and directed towards a goal. And somehow, everything becomes less meaningful because we stop lingering on ideas or moments that don’t immediately feel measurable.

That’s why I’ve been trying, intentionally, to slow down, recognize, and observe things in my life that might not necessarily be aligned with the steps that I need to take to achieve what success means to me. Because if I'm confronting honesty, a lot of what success means has been shaped by the system of reputation, pride, productivity, and what others think of me. And I think when everything I do is filtered through those values, I don't know if I will recognize myself at the end of the day.

I don't want to take life so seriously where I become a shell that is defined by what I do and what I've achieved (which I know is terribly hard to separate from my identity), but rather live a life where I can encounter myself honestly and find what is meaningful to me truly at my core. And be at peace with that version of me.